Până şi Caţavencu mă dă câştigător, e drept că nu la ediţia asta, ci la cea din 2012 şi la următoarele. Dar nici măcar asta nu are darul să mă liniştească. Cred că n-am mai avut atâtea emoţii în legătură cu un spectacol de la Serbarea Abecedarului (unde jucam, evident, rolul Abecedarului).

To make a mistake once is human. To make it twice is a coincidence.To make it three times is a pattern. You might want to see a shrink about that.

Am fost la două workshop-uri susţinute de John Parr la Conferinţa AT. John e un psiholog britanic care a locuit ceva vreme în România şi a format cam toată şcoala de analiză tranzacţională de la noi.

Redau câteva dintre ideile pe care mi le-am notat. N-am mai stat să le traduc. Oricum, literatura AT în limba română e plină de inadvertenţe. Recomand cu căldură sursele originale.

Sadness is about past, anger is about present, fear is about future. If people are sad about the future, they’re pbbly not experiencing a real feeling.

When you are sad about a loved one dying, you are experiencing the loss of security, not of a loved one.

The opposite of romantic love is a real relationship with a real person, not with a projected image.

We’re not using our emotions to heal, we’re using our emotions to feel dumb.

The homeostasis for human beings is being healthy and happy. We must be pretty emotionally unintelligent if we don’t quite succeed at being happy.

The appropriate cycle for anger: I tell you what I feel – I tell you what I need – We negotiate – I experience being heard.

If I shout at you, you don’t hear me.

Romanians have a tabu against disturbing one another. But if I don’t disturb you and you don’t disturb me, we don’t have a relationship.

They also have a tabu against expressing anger. That’s why we easily switch from calm to rage, either because we accumulate a lot of unexpressed anger and then we burst or because we carry a lot of archaic anger from childhood.

The less we disturb one another, the more we disturb one another and the environment.

The appropriate cycle for grief: Denial – Anger – Crying / Sobbing / Deep Sadness – Anger – Happiness.

If you do not receive nurturing during grieving, you end up with guilt or depression.

“What are you depressed about? You have everything, pull yourself together, think of your children” are not nurturing, but guilt-inducing statements.

Romanians’ objective is to lose their parents, not to fulfil their lives. Romanian parents expect their children to be the best. The result? Everybody feels fucking miserable.

Shame and guilt are not feelings, they are thoughts combined with either anger and fear or anger and sadness. Shame – “There’s smth wrong with me and nobody needs to know”. Guilt – “I’ve done smth wrong”.

When we feel ashamed, there’s a rapture in the relationship. The thing to do is not to look upon the same, but to provide protection.

In Genesis, when Adam and Eve realize they are naked, God covers them in darkness.

Anxiety is based in shame stimulating a chained reaction of fear. Anxious people need covering and protection.